Congratulations! It's a Raknin!

Darren's mind continues to spin. I've recorded the latest gems:

I can't help but feel like this is somehow, partially, my fault.

Fatherhood will be easy. Babies are kinda like basketballs, except less bouncy.

I guess dreams really do come true... because I just had a nightmare about having a baby.

Pregnant!? But I've already been through man-o-pause.

THIS is what I get for donating to Charity!?

Let's Just Hope That This Apple Tree is on a Hill

With the news of Darren's impending fatherhood, I took a trip deep into his mind and pulled out his inner most thoughts:

You're pregnant... like with a baby!?

So I guess this means we're officially dating.

Babies and pit bulls get along great, right?

I sure hope I’m better at fatherhood than I am at not getting chicks pregnant.

Best case scenario: the baby grows up, attends Harvard, and plays basketball. Worst case scenario: he grows up and is exactly like me.

What do you think of the name Darren Raknin Jr., brought to you by Kia Motors? I'm also open to Kia Motors presents Darren Raknin Jr.

You think giving birth hurts, try selling Steven Van Zandt.

I guess what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.

Finally they’ll let me back into Chucky Cheese!