Helping the World, One Redhead at a Time

I've found it hard to concentrate while in the office knowing I have less than a week left. My attention is easily distracted which has led me to create a new and exciting break through in medicine:

You Never Get a Second Chance to Make a Last Impression

With only a week left at IMG, it's time for me to start wrapping things up. First thing I did was hold my exit interview with HR. Below is an intimate look at that interview (click on the image to see a larger version. You may need to zoom in on your browser to see it clearly).

Bravery

This is from today's headlines on cnn.com. I can only imagine that the women saw Tiger about to spit and dove in front of her husband taking the full brunt of the saliva like a secret service agent protecting the president from a gunman .

The Tinest Black Hole

I did laundry last weekend and like any responsible adult I made sure to check my pockets before putting my jeans in the wash. Is there anything better than finding forgotten money in a pocket? Not likely, so you can imagine how disappointed I was when I found none. In fact I found nothing in my pockets so I proceeded with the task at hand.

The wash was completed without any fanfare and my clothes went into the dryer. After the drying cycle was completed I began to fold my clothes. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, my life really is that exciting. And it doesn't end there, I also did a load of dishes in the dishwasher later that day.

As I was folding my laundry, I noticed an odd lump in my jeans pocket. I was puzzled as I had checked those pockets and found nothing. I put my hand in the pocket and found nothing but could still feel the lump. It was then that I noticed the fifth pocket, the small pocket that sits inside the front right pocket of most jeans. I reached into this pocket and pulled out a wadded up piece of paper. The paper appeared to be a napkin, but I couldn't be sure due to the extensive damage done to it.

What could this paper have been? Was it something important? How long had it been in my pocket? These are questions to which I will never know the answer. The fifth pocket must be used with care, as its greatest strength, concealment, is also its greatest weakness.

This got me thinking what are good uses for the fifth pocket? I put together the following fifth pocket list of acceptable items:

Change
Keys
Jewels
Pogs
Wedding ring (Vegas application)

Use with caution for these items:

Paper money

Gum
Smurfs
Titi Monkeys
Valuable pogs
That cute girl's phone number

Enjoy the following related video:

Coming to a Theater Near You

The Giants won the World Series! Movies studios are crawling all over themselves to get the rights for the movie. Using some inside contacts I was able to get a sneak peak at the cast of the upcoming movie. Take a look:

Tim Lincecum will be played by Ted "Theodore" Logan

Andres Torres will be played by Diddy

Pablo Sandoval will be played by a scoop of chocolate ice cream

Buster Posey will be played by Kenneth parcell

Travis Ishikawa will be played by any random Asian person

Brian Wilson will be played by Wooly Willy

Back to the "Back to the Future" Blog

Thanks to TP for passing along the videos. Skip ahead to 17:55 and 25:06

America's Pastime in the Present!

As you may remember from yesterday's post, I won a ticket to the World Series. Here is a recap of my experience:

On my walk to the stadium, I passed two friends who were having a conversation. I'm not one to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but overhear one of them: "I mean if you're not serious about football, you might as well go some where like Harvard." I would normally never talk to a stranger, but I had to call this guy out: "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but hear you guys. I actually played football at Harvard. My QB is now starting for the Bills." Needless to say, they were dumbfounded

While waiting for Steve to get the tickets, I saw a guy giving me the stink-eye (or so I thought). He turned to his friend and they both started staring at me. One walked over to me and said, "has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Travis Ishikawa?" Seems like a nice thing to say as Travis is a good looking dude, but here's how I interpreted it "has anyone every told you that you look exactly like every other Asian person I've seen?" That being the case I shot back with, "has anyone ever told you that you look like every other white person I've ever seen?" Needless to say, they were dumbfounded.














Travis Ishikawa

I'm a good fist pumper, but not good enough for the Fist Pump Cam.

I'm good at the Carlton Dance, but not as good as the dude wearing the argyle sweater and glasses who happens to look exactly like Carlton Banks which is the standard needed to make the Carlton Cam.



Steve Perry loves the Giants. He must also love his haircut, which would explain why he hasn't changed it since 1981.

For some reason, there's always one person in the crowd who thinks they're the first person to make a mooing noise when everyone is leaving the stadium at the same time. I laugh every time.