Rejected Out of Office Assistant Messages

In honor of my backpacking trip and first ever use of Outlook's Out of Office Assistant, here are the messages that didn't make the cut:



Thank you for your email.

I will be out of the office until May 28th, during which time I will have limited access to email as I am traveling to the early 90's. I will however, be reachable by phone for just 10 cents a minute.



Thank you for your email.

I will be out of the office until May 28th. If this is an urgent matter, then I'm glad I'm not there to have to do it myself.



Thank you for your email.

I will be out of the office until May 28th as my mom forgot to pick up my dry cleaning. I will also be without email and phone as she also forgot to pay my bills for me.


Thank you for your email.

I will be out of the office until May 28 as I am auditioning for the role of grown up Short Round in the new Indiana Jones Movie.