A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed... and Then Some

Last night at dinner IMG San Francisco found out that our very own Darren will be accompanied by Ms. Charity to the 2008 Holiday Party. When asked if Charity and him were dating, Darren simply said they were "just friends." Here is a list of other things that Darren is "just friends" with:

1. The couch cushions at his parents house in Green Bay.

2. The entire 1996 women's Harvard basketball team.

3. That girl who's name he can't remember. They became "friends" in a women's bathroom.

4. A bowling ball.

5. This guy, but just once, and that was a long time ago, in Vegas, and Darren was lonely.

6. A Fruit Roll-Up

7. A six pack of Oscar Mayer hot dogs.

8. The December 2001 issue of playboy.

9. But Darren's real best friend is himself.