Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Don't Act so Surprised... Kirstie Ally Proved Long Ago That Inanimate Objects Can Talk

Recently, I accidental left my voice memo recorder running after leaving for the day. Here are some excerpts of what my possessions had to say.

Phone: I get it already! Ring Dance is part of InterCall.

Computer: My god Brian's hands are soft! So gentle when they stroke my keyboard. I'm just going to freeze up and enjoy the ctrl+alt+delete pleasure train.

Customized Mariners Bat: I'd rather be a bowling pin.

Coupon to Dave's Bar: Trade me in for lower inhibitions.

Calculator: 80085... Hahahahahahaha.

Phone: And you wonder why you're still a virgin calculator.

iPod Shuffle: Hey Brian, Siegfried/Roy called they want their playlist back.

Calculator: My foot + your ass = suck it phone

Trash Can: You can keep looking but, I'm telling you, your dignity is not in here.

Phone: Here's a math problem for you: 1/2 douche + 1/2 bag = 1 calculator.

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