Hello, I'm the guy from the Milk cartons

Yesterday, we decided to venture out of the comfort of the office for an off site meeting. It was agreed that a physical activity would be an excellent start to the day, invigorating our minds and bodies. After considering our options and a brief discussion, we all agreed that running the Dipsea Trail would be the perfect physical activity to start what promised to be a very productive day.

If you're unfamiliar with the Dipsea Trail you can click here to read about it. I knew that a 7.1 mile run would be a challenge as I haven't run more than half a mile in one workout in quite some time. On top of that, the trail appeared to have some topographic challenges.

As the trail is point-to-point and not a loop, we left one car at the finish and drove to the starting point in Mill Valley. To my utter dissatisfaction the run began with a .9 mile jaunt up three ridiculously long staircases. Half way up the second flight, I knew I was going to be dissatisfied for quite a while. The trail continued uphill after the stairs, but then a miracle! The trail turned downhill. I made a mental note to 'like' downhill on facebook. My satisfaction levels were rising.

We had made it to the Muir Woods! What a beautiful setting! Our map informed us that we were about to embark on a 2.2 mile section labeled "Cardiac Hill." Based on the trail thus far, I began second guessing my hypothesis that the hill was named for its heart-like shape. After approximately 200 yards and several minor heart attacks, I officially rescinded my former hypothesis as to the hill's namesake. I grew suspicious that the name of the hill had something to do with the incredibly long and difficult route to the top, and that this portion of the trail could potentially result in fatigue and potentially heart failure. My two colleagues did not seem to be having as much trouble as they were playfully gallivanting up the hill. I attributed this to the fact that they were likely on a runners' 'high' while I was just plain drunk.

They quickly outdistanced me and I was all alone. Fortunately, I'm equipped with an iPhone like sense of direction and was able to navigate most of the trail without a map or trail markers. I finally reached the top of the hill and began my dissent. Surely, I would be able to catch up to my colleagues... I said to a passing hiker named Shirley (copyright Airplane, 1980). After several miles and many twists and turns I was convinced I was lost but then I caught sight of a sign reassuring me that I was on the correct path. I followed this path until I came to another sign reassuring me that the correct path was the direction I had just run. Caught between two signs each pointing me in opposite directions, I paused to take stock of my current situation. I was all alone, lost, without any form of communication or identification, and no one knew where I was. Several thoughts crossed my mind:

• I was very concerned with spraining my ankle, but was fairly confident I could take on a mountain lion
• I'm flexible enough to the point that there are very few places a rattlesnake could bite me where I wouldn't be able to suck out the poison
• The next time I would join my colleagues for an "off site" meeting would be the day after never
• Bear Grylls is able to survive in worse situations than this, but is his name really Bear?
• Would I rather: run the Dipsea Trail again or be locked in a jail cell for 24 hours with nothing but a microphone and the 2010 version of Whitney Houston...? I'm still thinking about it
• My dissatisfaction is at an all time low

Regardless of the plight I found myself in, I found the energy to trudge on. I chose a path and stuck with it. Eventually, I found myself back in the Muir Woods. I retraced the path we had taken from Mill Valley and I emerged from the Dipsea right where I had started. I couldn't help but feel like I had just taken a fantastic voyage - not only physically, through the hills of the North Bay - but also introspectively, taking stock of my current position in life. If I could persevere through the Dipsea Trail what could stop me? Certainly not a mountain lion nor rattlesnake bite!

I will leave you all with this quote that I think sums up the day quite succinctly: "Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled to get there." In the end I didn't get very far, but I traveled a great distance to not get anywhere which, according to that quite makes, make me quite successful.